Remember a few months ago, when Heidi Montag and husband, Spencer Pratt, announced that Heidi would be crossing over into the music industry and releasing her first album? Well, they weren’t kidding.

Over the summer, Heidi gave us a taste of what her music would be like with a “live” performance of her buzz single, “Body Language,” at the 2009 Miss Universe show. Dressed in an a sparkly, skin colored outfit, very similar to Britney’s memorable MTV VMA outfit, Montag pranced around the stage, sometimes joining in the choreographed dance routine, and showed the world that Montag was serious when she said she wanted to be a pop star. Although the song was hot, (Yes! We like the song!) and well received by her fans, “Body Language” didn’t make track list for Montag’s debut album, “Superficial.”

To our surprise, “Superficial” actually isn’t as bad as we thought it would be. Besides looking plastic on the album’s cover, Heidi has actually managed to put together a fun, pop album. (Maybe Heidi was trying to look “superficial” to show how society….No? We didn’t think it was edited that way either.) Sure, she’s no Britney or GaGa, but with the help of her new friend, Auto-Tune, Heidi gives us fun tracks that we can dance and have a good time to in the clubs.

Montag was wise and left the writing to the professional songwriters. The up-tempo tracks were written by talented songwriters like Cathy Dennis (Britney Spears, Pink, Kelly Clarkson, etc.), are far from deep, and are mostly about partying, having fun, and Heidi being Heidi. Before you shit on Heidi for not writing her own lyrics and not signing any ballads, take a second and think about that. Do we really want Heidi Montag to being deep, writing her own material, and trying to sing ballads? Yeah. We didn’t think so either.

After listening to “Superficial” a few times, we saw that we liked more songs that we disliked. The album has both hot and luke warm tracks. The good tracks are actually very hot! “Turn Ya Head” “One More Drink” are very Britney, and we love that! Heidi’s breathy vocals are sexy and alluring in these songs. “More Is More” and “Twisted” are two other tracks that we loved, and remembered after listening to the album. We had these songs on repeat. These songs are fun and could potentially do well as singles.

The album’s title track, “Superficial,” which starts off with the robotic sounding lyrics, “I ain’t that easy, but it ain’t so hard,” is a hot mess. The title track tries to be annoyingly catchy, but ends up just being annoying. The chorus which consists mostly of the lines, “They say I’m superficial because I got money. They say I’m superficial, but they really don’t know me.” Heidi then contradicts her previous lyrics with the lines, “They call me superficial. Some call me a bitch. They just mad because I’m sexy, famous, and I’m Rich.” Really, Heidi? Really? Even though Spencer’s name isn’t in the writing credits, we can’t help but picture him writing those poetic lyrics. Some other tracks that we weren’t loving were the album’s second single, “Fanatic,” and “Like It Or Leave It.”
Well done, Heidi Montag! You’ve actually put together a fun, debut album! We’re excited to see her promote the album. Whether you’re a fan of Heidi’s or not, try to go into it with an open mind. This is an album that fans of pop music will like.

“Superficial” is in stores now! You can purchase Heidi Montag’s debut album on her official website.

Today we were reminded of why we all love Miss Britney Spears: because there is no one else like her. If you watched Miss Universe you sadly fell victim to a cringe-inducing (at the least… I vomited in my mouth a little bit) performance of ‘hit’ song Body Language by Heidi Montag-Pratt. Pratt being the operative word.

Dressed in a poor man’s version of Britney’s 2000 MTV Video Music Awards performance outfit, probably hand-made by Spencer Pratt (poor man) and stitched together using his old beard hair Heidi vacuumed up from the living room rug, Heidi provided Sunday night laughs as she pranced around the stage, relying on over-the-shoulder, stick-my-ass out poses to seduce the audience. Fail.

Granted, Miss Brit may not sing live every time, but at least she has the stage presence and dance moves to back it up. What did you think of Heidi’s performance? I’m surprised I even had enough brain cells left to write this post.

Sadly, she is celebrity. Now please, someone, get her out of here!

P.S. Here’s how it’s done…